Last week I had this crazy revelation … my time at RELEVANT Magazine (a really pivotal and emotional rollercoaster but significant season in my life) was five years ago.
FIVE YEARS AGO.
That’s so crazy to think. That for such a brief time in my life, I picked up and moved across the country for what I called my “dream job” to be thrown in a crazy whirlwind of a job and then ripped away from it a year later.
All that and I still wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because it’s a part of who I am. A part of my story.
But then I found this journal entry I wrote right before that season ever started. Purging was the final act of obedience I needed to do to really trust God with this next right step.
Just wow. Reflecting on this is so good.
PLEASE NOTE: I couldn’t find the exact recording of Derek Webb’s song that I reference in the post. But I did find “Wedding Dress” which is soooo good in its own right. So I included that instead.
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Saturday, 10 January 2009
i’m starting to purge everything.
i want to throw out everything of me that represents the past
represents who i was years ago
things that i’ve held on to
i want to let all that go
literally start fresh
i want to throw out everything that doesn’t satisfy me to the full
to throw out what represents who i was years ago
things i’ve held on to for no reason
i want to shred things that don’t matter anymore
with all the things changing, with the letting go to move forward
i feel like Lot
i feel like the Lord has told me to leave everything behind and not look back
to go to a new land
leave what is good for something that is even better
there’s a song that derek webb sang that is on my RELEVANT playlist
he had sung it acoustic and said words like
“sell your stock, sell your SUV”
and i remember thinking in the past - “there’s no way i could do that!
that’s all i have!”
and here i am, standing a year later with a whole new paradigm
thinking about what i would take with me
last spring when i thought about moving i was trying to strategize how to transport my entire apartment down to florida
now all i need are just a few belongings
i started fresh five years ago, i can start fresh again