Every year I sit down and take the time to reflect on the year. Looking back at the good, the bad, the lessons, the hurts, the challenges … searching for ways that I grew and where God hid little nuggets of blessings.

A debriefing. That’s what I always called it. One of my Teen Mania terms that I’ve adapted into my life.

I could sit down and tell you all the hi’s and lo’s or read you the little stories in my memory jar. But I’m not going to. At least not right now.

I’ve been reflecting. Selah.

I don’t know about you, but this year has seriously beaten me and a lot of my friends up. Like beat the crap, kick you while you’re down, type of stuff. There’s been job loss, strain on friendships, multiple divorces, suicide, stillborn birth. Too many things. All so heavy. 

Sigh.

My brain is so jumbled with thoughts right now. Because I know God is a good God, which totally contradicts how the past year has been for so many of my friends. Sometimes refinement is a bitch. It feels like fiery hells at times, but really it’s just a purifying process. 

Anyways I wanted to share this video. It’s a combination of my love/hate, need to reconcile, God is still working in me, RLV music session. It’s a live recording of “Oceans” by Hillsong United.

I chose this song because the lyrics are amazing. I used to not sing the bridge because those were dangerous prayer words. It’s like asking for it. Asking to be tested.

I’ve been there before and it’s the worst. But the worst times always preceded the BEST times.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith would be made stronger
in the Presence of my Father

I guess it something I’m always learning.

I’m just believing that God isn’t done yet. He has good things in store for us. He really does.